Bulletproof boobs? Researchers claim breast implants reduce damage from gunshot injuries… seriously

According to researchers, bullets travel up to twenty percent less when they make contact with breast implants, which could mean the different between life and death. Over the years, many women have even backed up this claim, arguing that their breast implants saved their life by protecting the vital organs against a speeding bullet.

One of these women is Eileen Likness of Canada, whose surgically enhanced breasts allegedly saved her life from the force of a bullet. While gunshot wounds to the chest often result in death, Likness explained during the trial of her ex-boyfriend (who was also the one who tried to kill her) that she might not have made it had it not been for her fake boobs.

Researchers at the University of Utah conducted an experiment to determine whether or not breast implants really did have the ability to slow down a speeding bullet and prevent organ damage. In order to test the effectiveness of breast implants, the researchers used a synthetic gel that had the same thickness and consistency of human tissue. A bullet from a handgun was fired from a distance of 2.5 meters away into a gel mold the size of a D cup. In the end, the researchers found that the implants made the bullet flatter and wider, which ultimately increased the drag force and slowed it down, reducing the distance it traveled.

“You can think of them as tiny airbags,” explained lead researcher Christian Pannucci, who argues that breast implants could also protect against stabbings and other accidents. However, Dr. Anand Deva of Macquarie University in Australia disagrees. “It’s an interesting idea, but it would be a stretch to say they could replace bulletproof vests,” he said in an interview with New Scientist.

Dr. Deva is right – if you really want protection against an incoming bullet, a bulletproof vest is definitely the way to go. Not only does it cover more surface area on the body, but when it comes to breast implants, you’re really only protected on the off chance that the bullet collides directly into the thick breast tissue, and even then it’s not guaranteed that you will survive. It could save your life, it is still incredibly dangerous.

Plus, why would you go with fake boobs when there are so many cooler options in the works? For example, a Polish company called Moratex is currently working on an advanced bulletproof vest that is significantly more effective then Kevlar when it comes to stopping a bullet.

To make this futuristic armor, Moratex has borrowed a concept from our childhoods. When you mix water and cornstarch together, you get a substance that oozes through your fingers, but then becomes hard as a rock when you squeeze it or pack it together. This very simplistic science experiment that many of us did as young kids is almost the same exact technology used in Moratex’s new vests.

Unlike Kevlar, these bulletproof armor plates are filled with a type of non-Newtonian fluid that Moratex calls Shear-Thickening Fluid, or STF. This liquid remains loose and free flowing until the second a bullet collides with it, at which point the fluid becomes hard almost instantaneously.

When a bullet moving at 1,400 feet per second hits the vests filled with the Shear-Thickening Fluid, it only creates an indentation no larger than one centimeter. This technology is even more effective at stopping bullets than Kevlar, and needless to say, is far more effective at stopping bullets than fake breast implants. Sorry ladies, but if you want to be properly protected against an incoming bullet, real bulletproof vests are the way to go.

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